Gangs and Bullies

It should be - especially here in this country one of the safest things that our children can do....go to school everyday. It is too bad that it is one of those places that actually holds fear for some kids.

This is not in anyway blaming the school, they have the liason officers, security cameras, teachers on alert, etc.....but still something is wrong and a change needs to happen.

Did you know that when your son or daughter goes to school the pressure is on for them to get involved into a gang?

Did you know that the summer before they enter the Middle school that even though your child is able to show you their regular, normal, everyday face, - inside they are scared to death about what is going to happen in the Middle school....

Did you know that when your teen is in school, to learn things such as math and reading, that anywhere he goes in school, the bullies and gangs are there - pressuring him as to what he claims?

Did you know that your child thinks it is "safer to pretend to claim a gang than not claiming anything? This keeps him or her from being beat up or jumped by the gangs.

Do you know how scary it must be for your kid every day to go to school like this?

For the kids this is only part of their reality.......

It is NOT supposed to be this way.

Here is a small version of how one 6th graders day at school goes....

He gets up and dresses for school, carefully checking his clothing colors to make sure that he is not matching up any gang colors which he has known about since the 3rd or 4th grade.

While eating breakfast he reminds himself not to eat or drink too much so that he dont have to go into the bathroom more than once at school - alot of things happen in the bathrooms.

When he gets to his locker he makes sure to get whatever it is that he will need for the entire day out of the locker. It is much easier to carry the load of books than to risk the chance of going back to the locker and having a confrontation.

Lunchtime - he smiles to himself because he has made it through half of the day. A gangster kid is staring him down in the lunchroom (mad-doggin) and he decides to ease over to some other kids that he knows are in one of the bigger, tougher gangs.

He knows that if something goes down these kids from this bigger gang will help him out - they tell him all the time that if he ever needs something they "got his back".....most of these kids he has known his whole life. He knows that they will "protect" him if he needs it.

That is often how it starts. I know, you are thinking that how could your child even consider being involved with a gang. Maybe you are thinking that what others are calling a "gang" isnt as bad as they think.

Don't think that way please.....this is your wake up call Mom and Dad.

You are probably asking yourself what you can do. The majority of parents cringe at the very thought of someone hurting their child. That is normal. That is your job to protect your child. Here are a few things that you can do.

1. When your teen wants to go somewhere whether it be with a friend or the mall, question them. Ask them - how are you getting there, who all is going, what are you going to be doing, what time do you plan on coming home. Trust me, it is much better to ask these questions BEFORE anything crazy happens so that YOU know what is going on.



2. Ask your teen how their day was at school. If you ask your teen something like " how was school" they will probably respond back " fine" ---they are not going to fill your ears with everything just because you asked. You need to be a little tricky to get them to talk to you. Instead try this:
   
   PARENT: "how was school today"

TEEN: " fine"

PARENT: "anything exciting happen today"

TEEN: "no, same old thing"

PARENT: "really? I remember when I went to school, there was always something different going on either at school or one of my friends doing something - in fact I had this one friend who was always getting into trouble"

TEEN: "really? like how?"

Then this would be your opening to either talk about an old memory of yours from school or make one up. This is your chance to get your teen to open up. Whatever you do - dont let this chance pass by.

Another thing that you can do is to get involved with your teen a little more. Believe it or not - they still need you. If needed become that Mom or Dad that is always the one to give rides or have the other kids over to the house. This allows you the opportunity to witness first hand who their friends are as well.

Just remember, your teen has feelings too. Dont ridicule them or treat them as if their feelings dont count. If they ask if they can have friends over, let them. Tell your teen that the house rules apply to their friends as well. If you treat your child the way that you would want to be treated then they will respect you for that.

And last but not least - remember - you are not their friend. You are the parent and you are the one that sets the rules. Just remember that your child is under an enormous amount of pressure everyday at school. They are trying to survive the bullies and they are trying to keep thier grades up.

Talking to your teen is one of the best pieces of advice. The other would be to listen not only with your ears but with your heart.

Until next time,
Take care and stay safe